


Memories of You

by BrenIsntHome (NicoGreyjoy)



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Female Kurosaki Ichigo, Gen, I don't know I tried to tag, Impossible Girl, Inspired by Doctor Who, Protective Kurosaki Ichigo, different incarnations?, no beta we die like men, not really reincarnation but kind of in a way, wibbly wobbly timey wimey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:20:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25833400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicoGreyjoy/pseuds/BrenIsntHome
Summary: Kurosaki Ichigo is impossible. And not because she is a human-shinigami-quincy-hollow hybrid (quadbrid?). Ichigo's existence is impossible because no matter which point on the timeline you visit, from the founding of the Gotei 13 all the way to the Quincy War and beyond, she is there. Same orange hair, same attitude, same tendency to meddle in things she shouldn't be involved in. There's no logical explanation for her continued presence throughout the centuries and everyone is confused as hell, including Ichigo herself who just wants to know where all these weird dreams and memories are coming from (and why everyone she meets feels oddly familiar).
Comments: 15
Kudos: 98





	Memories of You

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Bleach. Or Doctor Who (though no one from that series makes an appearance really)
> 
> This fic was written after a Bleach and Doctor Who binge spawned this brainchild that I could no longer ignore. I'm going to at least write the first chapter and see if the inspiration lasts for full fic lol

_Ichigo was dying, this much she knew._

_She vaguely registered a medic from Squad 4 trying in in vain to staunch the bleeding. But she knew it wouldn't help._

_And she was ready. She accepted her fate._

_Yhwach was defeated, the war was done. The battle has ended and the relief on the field is palpable._

_It had been a good life, if a short one, she thinks while staring up at the sky, her vision becoming blurry. But she had fulfilled her purpose. Ichigo means "first protector", and protect her precious people she did. Her family was alive, her friends and allies were alive, and the world was saved for the second time in her short seventeen years._

_If her death was the result of ensuring the survival of everyone she loved, than it was a price she would willingly pay ten times over._

**_"You have done well, my child."_ ** _A voice cut through her thoughts._

_It was deep, and ancient. Powerful. The King._

**_"You have done well,"_ ** _it says again. " **T**_ **_he_ _threat to all the worlds has been defeated, balance is restored. You have dedicated your life to protecting and caring for others, asking nothing in return. And for this, you shall be rewarded. There will be no reincarnation cycle, you will come to rest where all souls began."_ **

_She was never in it for the rewards or for the recognition._

_But the finally being able to rest part did sound pretty great, if she was being honest with herself._

_**"A final request. This I shall grant before your soul is allowed to rest permanently. Speak, and it is yours."** _

_A final request, eh? One final wish before she leaves this life and her loved ones behind._

_What does she want?_

_There is only one thing she wants. There has only ever been one thing she has wanted. To protect everyone she loves. To always be there to protect them, no matter where or when they needed. She was dying, yes, but the urge to take care of everyone and ensure their safety was still there. The only regret she has about leaving this life is that she won't be there for them anymore._

**_"Granted."_ **

_Ichigo has no idea what he means by "granted", or how he would even be able to grant this particular request. But he is the Soul King, so maybe she should have a little faith in a literal God._

_And with that, she feels herself start to slip away, darkness creeping in and the sounds of everything around her fading._

_She was moving on to her reward of eternal rest the Soul King was talking about, whatever eternal rest means._

_But as she began to drifted away into the blackness, her soul slowly dissolving into sparkling blue reiatsu as it was called home by the Soul King himself, she couldn't help be feel that little parts of her were being pulled in a different direction than where she was headed._

_The tiniest of fragments being left behind...._

**[ I ]**

Waking up in a cold sweat, heart pounding and limbs shaking, has been the norm for Ichigo her entire life. The dreams and strange visions came to her more strongly at night than they did during the day. 

Her parents thought she just had an overactive imagination and that the cause of her dreams at night and strange feelings by day were just a result of the stories her mind created. But Ichigo knew better. These dreams, these feelings, they weren't something that her mind just made up. The weird memories and stories that came out of nowhere was not just her being "creative" and the signs of a budding writer. 

They were _real_ and no one could tell her otherwise. 

While she has had many dreams, many visions and feelings, this one always stood out. She was dying in the dream. She was in so much pain and dying, yet had seemingly accepted what was happening and was at peace. 

_Speak, and it shall be yours._

Those six words, always those six words spoken by something or someone that she could not see but felt like she knew. And it was frustrating. Ichigo didn't know what any of this meant.

She didn't know why she was dying or why she had even been fighting at all. She couldn't recall the names of any of the people whose blurry faces appeared in her dreams nightly, but yet felt such a strong pull to them from the core of her being. She loved and cared for people whom she did not even know and whose faces she couldn't even see clearly half of the time. 

There was no logical explanation for any of this.

She buried her face into her pillow and let out a scream of frustration. All she wanted was for this to stop. Or at least get an answer as to what was going on. But she was doubtful about ever getting what she wanted. 

**[ I ]**

Being in the Seireitei was uncomfortable, to say the least. Both physically and mentally. Ichigo had only just been allowed to leave by the fourth division a few hours earlier after spending nearly a week under Unohana-Taichou's personal care. Apparently, she had been far more injured than she had thought and quite of few of her wounds were infected and potentially fatal if left untreated. It was miracle she had even survived so many battles before finally collapsing shortly after Aizen's rather theatrical exit to Hueco Mundo. 

She was deemed well enough to leave, but was under strict orders to not engage in strenuous activities and or over exert herself in any way. Said strict orders came directly from the captain herself and Ichigo was not an idiot. The idea of disobeying the seemingly benevolent Fourth Division captain filled her with an icy dread that consumed her entire being. She couldn't help but feel that any act that went against her medical recommendations would result in consequences being rained down upon her by the demon in disguise that was Unohana Retsu, and she was not prepared for that day of reckoning. 

The mere memory of her encounter with the woman earlier that morning was enough to make her quiver in fear. 

_"Kurosaki-san, I would urge you to comply with my recommendations regarding your health, lest you end up back in my division under my care once more."_

_"Y-Yes, ma'am. Of course."_

_"And do make sure you find something to eat. Not only will proper nutrition aid in your recovery, you are also far too small in my opinion. I expect you to begin taking care of yourself properly."_

_She gulped as she stared into the unblinking gaze of the captain whose face seemed to be enveloped in shadows. "Yes ma'am."_

Currently she was wandering around the Seireitei, peaking into the various shops, tea houses, and stands that lined the rather busy street. This placed looked like something out of her school textbooks. It was exactly what she would have imagined living in Japan during centuries past would have been. It was as if this world was at a standstill, unable to move forward the way the world of the living did. 

It was oddly comforting. While still bustling with activity, it lacked the same sense of busyness and urgency that came with modern life. She was beginning to understand her very new-age hippie like world studies teacher from America who was always touting the benefits of "unplugging from social media and technology and enjoying the real world". Ichigo would have to apologize to the poor woman when she got home. 

And it helped that no Shinigami seemed to be lurking about on this particular street. It was mostly civilians, and for this she was extremely grateful. Many of the Shinigami had been kind to her- once it was established that she wasn't the enemy of course- but she was tired of the strange looks and whispers that followed her everywhere she went. She was tired of half of the people she encountered doing a double-take and staring at her with wide eyes. 

It had started with Rukia, the night the shorter girl had appeared in Ichigo's room. When Rukia finally realized she could see spirits, and by extension _her_ , and turned to look at her, the Shinigami's eyes had widened in disbelief and the words on her tongue had died. After composing herself, she said something that confused Ichigo even more than she already had been. 

"K-Kiko?"

"Who the hell is Kiko and why the _fuck_ are you in my room!?"

It had taken to a minute to establish the fact that she was not, in fact, this "Kiko" person Rukia seemed to think she was and after that night it was never brought up again. Though Ichigo was not oblivious to weird looks that continued to be thrown her way whenever Rukia thought she was not looking, and how many times Rukia appeared to want to ask her something, but always stopped herself before she could. 

Her concern about this Kiko person only grew when Renji had nearly the same reaction upon meeting her, his visible hesitation to attack her confusing her even more than Rukia's behavior towards her. If she hadn't known better, she would swear he had mouthed "Kiko" with the same expression of disbelief on his face that Rukia had had the night they met. 

Who ever this Kiko person was, they must resemble each other a great deal if it's enough to throw seasoned Shinigami off their game. 

It only got worse as she continued to meet (read: battle for her life with) more Shinigami as she and her friends had made their way deeper and deeper into the Seireitei. Even Kenpachi, the maniac that she had almost died taking down, seemed to be utterly confused by her presence and called her yet another name that did not belong to her. She was beginning to think that she went to sleep and woke up in the Orphan Black universe, or whatever that BBC show Yuzu and Karin were obsessed with was called. Were there Ichigo clones running around the Soul Society causing mass confusion or something? 

It was _annoying_ and she just wanted some peace and quiet away from all the weird looks. 

Her stomach grumbled. And maybe some food, she thought. She hadn't eaten in a while and getting proper nutrition and drinking enough water were two of the things that would keep her healthy and away from the wrath of Unohana-taichou. Priorities. 

Glancing around she tried to find a restaurant that looked appealing, but nothing really caught her attention. She shouldn't be this picky, it's just food after all, but for some reason nothing seemed to draw her in. Until her eyes landed on a small tea shop, nestled between two shops with rather worn sign. It didn't look like anything special, certainly not the nicest place on this street. But she wanted to go there. 

_Huh, still looks exactly the same._

Ichigo blinked in confusion. Where had that thought come from? She had never been to the Seireitei before, so there was absolutely no way that she would be familiar with what tea shops existed here. But yet here she was, staring at a little tea shop while a little voice in the back of her mind urged her to go inside because _it's been so long_. There was a longing for this place bubbling up inside of her and she couldn't understand why. 

_Go in_ , the little voice whispered. 

Against her better judgement she steps into the shop and is immediately assaulted by sounds and sights and smells that should not feel as familiar as they do. She feels a sharp pain in her head as images flash through her mind. People, conversations, time spent here after a long day enjoying each other's presence. A series of images she remembers, but doesn't remember at the same time. She felt dizzy and like she was going to puke all over the floor of the tea shop. 

A gentle hand on her shoulder startled her out of her thoughts and she shrieked, jumping away from the hand that had touched her. Her legs didn't appreciate the sudden and violent movement and nearly sent her toppling to the floor. But two strong arms steadied her before she could fall. 

"Kurosaki-san! Are you alright?" a concerned voice asks. 

Behind her, holding her in an upright position while the world around her slowly stopped spinning, was the familiar face of the white haired captain she had met during her illegal adventures. Rukia's captain, she thinks. His brows furrowed as he stared at her, the worry evident on his face. 

"Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine, it's just.." she trailed off. How would she even explain this to him? How could she explain that sometimes she was just overwhelmed by visions and feelings that shouldn't happen and it's always been that way and probably would continue until she died? No, she would never be able to say that to people whose trust in her was still barely there. They would think she was crazy.

So the obvious solution was to her ass off, of course. 

"I'm still not feeling too great. A little dizzy is all," she mumbled as she wiggled herself out of his grasp. 

He nodded in understanding. "Of course, you've certainly had an eventful time in here in the Seireitei. Do you need to be taken back to the Fourth? I would be happy to-" she cut him off before he could even finish his sentence, because no thank you. She just escaped Unohana's watchful eye and had no intention of going back a mere four hours later. Absolutely not. 

"No! No, thank you," she said, smiling at the older man. "It's just a headache. And I was just told to get something to eat so I should probably do that before Unohana-san figures out I'm disobeying her orders." Ichigo hoped this would appease the man and he would leave her be. But of course luck has never been on her side. So why should she have expected that now. 

"Then allow me to pay your way, Kurosaki-san," he said, returning her smile. 

No. No no no. 

"I couldn't let you do that," she replied. Her smiled had become more strained as her hopes of getting out of this encounter were dashed. 

"I insist! It's the least I could do for all your help in saving Rukia's life." 

The man was determined, she would give him that. And he certainly knew just how to get to her, what with having brought Rukia into this conversation. There was no way she could have said no, especially since he was being so nice to her. It wouldn't do her any favors to insult a captain and start making enemies so soon. Ichigo sighed. 

"Alright. Thank you.....Ukitake-san?" His name had come out as more of a question. While she had seen many seated officers in passing, she hadn't learned all of their names. And if she had, she couldn't remember them. 

She finds herself seated at a table towards the back of the tea shop across from the captain. She sipped her green tea as her mind raced, trying to think of anything she could say to break the silence. She glanced back up at Ukitake and was surprised to see that man had been studying her with an intense look while she had been staring down at the wooden table in front of her. Suddenly she was very nervous. 

"Umm, Ukitake-san? Is something wrong?" she asked, hesitantly. She tugged nervous at her orange locks, a tic that had developed when she was younger. 

Ukitake shook his head and a wistful smile appeared on his face. "I apologize, Kurosaki-san. I don't mean to stare. It's just..." He paused as if he was attempting to choose his next words carefully. Ichigo sighed inwardly as she had a vague idea of what was coming next. "You remind me of someone," he finished.

"Let me guess, I remind you of Kiko? Whoever that was. Or maybe it's that Yumeko person Kenpachi mentioned?" she said.

Ukitake blinked and shook his head. "No, I do not know anyone by the name of Kiko or Yumeko. However, you do remind me of a very dear friend. She's long gone now, but during our academy years she spent a lot of time with Shunsui and myself."

"Shunsui?" she asked, not recalling this person though his name sounded familiar. 

"Ah, Kyouraku-taichou! You might remember him from Soukyoku Hill. He wears a pink haori over his captain's uniform." 

She nodded. 

"Yes, well, she was one of the first students at the academy along with Shunsui and I. We trained together, fought together, graduated together. She was always looking out for both of us and kept us from getting into trouble," he chuckled. "I don't know how many times she saved us from the Soutaichou's wrath." 

He was quiet for a moment as his expression turned pained. 

"And in the end, she sacrificed herself to save us after an assignment gone wrong. She was always so protective of everyone else, willing to do anything to keep those she cared about alive. You remind me so much of her, personality. And in looks, if I'm being honest. That hair color is very rare. Only she and a few other people I have come across have had it." 

Ichigo didn't know what to say in response to Ukitake's story. What are you supposed to say to someone who is essentially a stranger spilling their guts to you because you happened to look like a friend who probably died centuries ago. The obvious pain that had been present in his voice while he told her about his friend made her heart ache for this man that she barely knew. 

"What was her name?" she asked softly. 

"Suzuki," he replied, that sad, regretful smile still on his face. 

At the mention of his long dead friend's name, that sharp familiar pain in her head returned and Ichigo winced, feeling queasy all over again. 

A flash of a red and white uniform. Arms linked with two men who were taller than her, laughing and bumping shoulders with them. 

_Shunsui, behave!_

_Maa, maa, Suzu-chan! There's no need to be so mean!_

_Then stop behaving like a circus monkey!_

"Kurosaki-san?"

Ichigo's attention snapped back to the man seated across from her who, to her complete horror, was once again looking at her with worry. Dammit, she really had to work on this being overcome with weird flashback type moments and zoning out while with others. "Are you certain you're feeling well enough to walk around? I'm sure Unohana-taichou wouldn't mind checking you over again," he asks. 

She shook her head and forced herself to stop thinking about what she just heard and saw. 

"No, no! I'm perfectly fine. I'm just......I'm sorry about your friend. That must have been tough." And she was. She was sorry that his friend was dead. She was sorry that she didn't know what to say to offer any comfort. She was sorry that she looked so much like this Suzuki person that she brought all of these old memories and feelings to surface.

But as much as she was sorry, she was also growing frustrated once more. This was the third person that she had been likened to. Three people who supposedly share, or had shared, her face. It wasn't possible. Surely, it was highly unlikely that there would be this many people who looked just like her. 

Especially when it came to hair color. Her hair color, which was literally orange and not that natural looking orange-red that many gingers had but _orange,_ was exceedingly rare.

"Yes, indeed it was. I still find myself thinking about her often." He waved his hand dismissively, polite smile back in place. "But enough about this. I'm sorry to burden you with all of this. Let's change the subject, shall we?" 

In the end, she and Ukitake had spent at least two hours in the small tea shop before she was finally able to escape and continue her exploration of the Seireitei. Hopefully along this time with none of the "you remind me of so and so" bullshit that seemed to follow her around. 

**[ I ]**

The next day Ichigo found herself lounging in the Sixth Division with Renji and Rukia. Renji was recovering well and Rukia was already back on duty, though Ukitake had her on desk duty for the most part. She herself felt better than yesterday, and though some of her wounds still throbbed with a dull ache they were healing at such an extraordinary rate that even Unohana was shocked. Whatever it was though, she wasn't going to question it. 

There was a lull in the conversation, the three of them simply enjoying the down time after so much fighting. And it was at this moment that Ichigo decided she would just go for it and ask about Kiko. 

After all, if she was going to constantly be compared to these people, she wanted to know who exactly they were. 

"So," she begins, not knowing exactly how this would go, "who exactly was Kiko?" 

She took another sip of the tea one of lower-ranking members of the Sixth Division had brought them as Rukia and Renji both sputtered after being caught off guard by Ichigo's question. The two Shinigami looked at each other for a long moment before nodding, seemingly having come to some sort of agreement. 

"Kiko was.....a friend of ours," Rukia said slowly, her eyes fixed on the ground. "We grew up together in the Rukongai. She was older than us, looked after Renji and I, and all the other kids we lived with." 

She paused and shifted uncomfortably, like she didn't really want to continue the story but felt like she had to. Renji placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and offered her a small smile, silently saying that he would finish where she left off. 

"Yeah, Kiko was basically our Mom. The only one we had who actually gave a shit about us. Made sure we had a place to stay, food to eat, that the asshole who lived next store knew his place and not to mess with us," he said, chuckling. 

"Mmm," Rukia agreed with a small laugh of her own. "She really did teach him a lesson. More than once." 

"Threatened to kick him until his balls receded back inside of him. She was always there to protect us, even we told her we could take care of ourselves." 

Ichigo smirked. Kiko sounded like a person she would get along with. She could understand the drive to take care of those around you, especially younger kids. She has looked after her siblings since her mother died. She would do anything for Yuzu and Karin, including kicking a man in the nuts until his balls receded. Hell would freeze over before she let anything happen to her sisters or allow her sisters go without the things they needed to stay alive. 

But Ichigo had senses a "but" to this story. 

Renji's smile lost its mirth before he spoke the next sentence. "But she got sick before Rukia and I headed off to the academy. Really sick. She didn't ah....she didn't make it." 

Ah. And there it was. The "but". Her apparent look alike had gone the way of Ukitake's Suzuki and met her maker long before her time. Excellent. Apparently all she is, is a walking reminder of people who have died. Not exactly what she had wanted to do with her life, but when had life ever been fair to Ichigo. 

"And I look like her, don't I?" she asked, though she knew full well what the answer was going to be. 

"Yes, Ichigo. You do. You like very much like Kiko. It's why I was so surprised that night in your room. You look exactly like her and I thought I had gone crazy. But I guess things like this just happen sometimes. Looks are a funny thing," Rukia said, and finally looked up from the spot on the ground she had been staring at. "I'm sorry I acted strange around you but it was rather.....jarring to see someoneone-"

"Who looked so much like your dead friend? Yeah, Ukitake-san said the same thing about Suzuki." 

Rukia blinked, confusion evident on her face. "When did you talk to Ukitake-taichou? And who is Suzuki?" 

"Yeah, he insisted on buying me lunch which eventually turned into a story about how I look like his and Kyouraku-san's long dead friend down to the hair color," she shrugged, attempting to appear nonchalant about the matter. "It seems to be turning into a pattern. Kiko, Suzuki, that Yumeko chick Kenpachi mentioned when we were trying to kill each other. I'm honestly a little weirded out by this whole thing. It's getting really Orphan Black like and I don't like it."

"Orphan Black?"

"Human TV show about cloning. You wouldn't get it. But like, that's how I feel." 

Renji stared at her, not speaking for a moment. "But you have to admit it's weird that you look so much like them. When we say you look like Kiko, I mean you _look_ like Kiko. You have her face," he insisted. 

Ichigo frowned. "Or I have _my_ face. Just because we look alike doesn't mean we're the same. I wish everyone would just stop comparing me to a bunch of dead girls!" she exclaimed, voice rising a few octaves. 

She regretted the words as soon as they had come out of her mouth, but there was no taking them back. She hadn't realized just how frustrated and annoyed being told she reminded people of their lost loved ones had made her. Typically, she tried not to lash out at people. But maybe it was because the stress of breaking into the Soul Society to save Rukia on top of the sudden onslaught of her memory/visions/whatever the fuck they were that have been plaguing her since she stepped into this place that was getting to her. 

The two Shinigami stared at her with wide eyes after her outburst. "Ichigo..." Rukia began, "I'm sorry, we didn't mean-"

"No," she interrupted, "it's fine, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted that way. I'm just tired and cranky, ya know?" she said, pushing herself to her feet. "I should really get going. I promised Kukaku-san I would visit before I leave tomorrow." 

Ichigo started to walk away quickly, ignoring the shouts of her name and to come back behind her. She needed some time to herself to calm down and not think about Kiko, Suzuki, Yumeko, or any of the weird shit that impacts her life. 

God, she was so tired. 

**[ I ]**

When she arrived at the Shiba compound she was greeted with the sounds of screams and explosions.

Ichigo sweatdropped as a hole was blown in the roof, courtesy of Kukaku's fireworks. How the Shiba family had a place to live she would never understand. There's no way they could afford to keep moving around the way they do after each explosion. If she listened closely, she could almost here Ganju screaming in terror while Kukaku screamed obscenities at him. 

Perhaps this was a bad time to visit and she should just-

Before she was even able to finish the thought the entrance to the Shiba home flew open and she was greeted by the sight of a grinning Kukaku and a slightly scorched Ganju. Both of their gazes immediately zeroed in on her and she knew that her chance to escape had long passed. 

"Ichigo! There ya are, kid! I was wondering when you'd show up," Kukaku exclaims, striding towards her quickly and throwing an arm around her shoulders. "Come on, in, in! You can tell me all about how ya gave those Shinigami a run for their money." Ichigo finds herself being dragged towards the compound while Kukaku rambles on about something or other. She almost feels bad about just how much she isn't looking forward to this visit even though Kukaku and Ganju are excited to see her again. In fact, the only thing she feels entering the Shiba compound is apprehension. 

She was afraid that once she stepped through those doors she would again be overtaken by things she did't want to see or remember. 

Her eyes darted around the compound as she was lead to a sitting area, Kukaku still talking animatedly by her side. When nothing strange happened she breathed an inaudible sigh of relief. Perhaps this would be a normal visit?

When she had stepped into this home for the first time, she had been hit with that pain in her head and the queasy feeling that was all too familiar. Images of children running around, one of which looked suspiciously like a younger Kukaku, had flashed through her mind. She could smell food cooking and hear the laughter from the family members who were gathered in the spacious outdoor area. She knew instinctively that it was the Shiba family, but the home in her vision looked different than the current one. It felt older and livelier. 

She had heard someone calling out to her and turned to look at them, but the sights and sounds had disappeared before she could see who it was. It had been almost as frustrating as having the visions in the first place. If she was going to have to live through these damn things, at least give her the full story. 

"Are you alright, Kurosaki-chan?" Orihime had asked her. startling her out of that moment in time her mind had forced her to look at. "Is something wrong? Are you sick?" When Ichigo had turned to look at her, she could see everyone staring at her with worry. Apparently she had been completely unresponsive for five minutes, staring blankly at the wall in front of her and not hearing anything Yoruichi had to say about the Seireitei and Shinigami. 

It was embarrassing and she could not believe that she had allowed herself to slip like that in front of everyone. Especially considering what they were there to do. How could they trust her to lead them through the Seireitei and keep them alive if she could not even manage herself? 

Thankfully, she had been able to convince them that she was simply nervous about the whole thing, which was believable. What fifteen-year old girl with hardly any fighting experience wouldn't have been at least a little terrified of confronting seasoned Shinigami with centuries of battle experience? Shinigami that could easily kill her if she made the slightest mistake. 

Still, it was very embarrassing and she vowed to never have a slip up like that again.

A vow which lasted a total of two days before she was hit with another flash of the nonsense her brain enjoys torturing her with because why would anything ever work out in Ichigo's favor? The universe was intent on making her miserable in some fashion, all day every day. Who was she to think that this pattern would change just because she wanted it to? 

"You alright there, kid?"

Ichigo's attention snapped back to Kukaku who was looking at her with a puzzled expression, staring at her and then back to the empty space that Ichigo had been looking at. "You spaced out for a minute there? Did those Shinigami hit you in the head one too many times?" Kukaku asked, only half joking. 

Ichigo sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired."

She was so used to blaming everything on being "tired". It was easier to use that excuse than try to explain anything that was going on in her life. She had learned long ago that it was better for her to just keep all of her problems to herself. She couldn't take care of everyone else if she was making everything about her. 

Kukaku raised a brow, looking thoroughly unimpressed with her weak attempt to assure her that she was fine. 

"Wanna try that again?"

Ichigo rolled her eyes and resigned herself to the fact that there was no way for her to exit this conversation. She didn't want to get on the older woman's bad side, especially after all she had done for her and her friends. And she really didn't want to be on the receiving end of Kukaku's wrath. She had seen what that woman was capable of and honestly, she wasn't here for it. Not right now. 

"I guess I'm just confused about some things," she began while tugging nervously at her hair again. 

Kukaku made a continue motion with her hand as all of her attention became focused on Ichigo. 

"I mean....it's just. You've lived in the Soul Society your whole life. You know how things work here, right? Is it....is it normal for souls to look the same? Or like, be the same?"

Kukaku furrowed her brows. "You mean like reincarnation? Souls are reincarnated all the time. It's part of the natural cycle."

"I guess?" She paused. "But when souls are reincarnated do they _look_ the same? Or have memories of their past lives?"

Kukaku hummed thoughtfully, a contemplative look on her face. "Well, it's certainly not impossible. Some souls do retain knowledge from their past life. Though it's a rare occurrence. For most people, forgetting the lives they had before their death makes it easier to let go and accept that they've moved on. And the same goes for when they are reborn into the world of the living. It's just easier on the mind." 

The woman stopped and scratched her head. "But looking exactly the same? I guess that wouldn't be impossible either, but typically souls take on the appearance of their new body after being reborn as the soul reflects the body. Why the sudden interest in reincarnation, kid?"

Ichigo hesitated, not sure as to just how much detail she should give Kukaku about things. What if the woman thought she was being ridiculous, or that she was as crazy as she often felt? 

"There's been a few people who have told me that I look like their dead friend. Exactly like them, down to the smallest detail. And that I act like them to. They always look at me like they've seen a ghost, like it's impossible for me to be standing in front of them. It's starting to weird me out a little." Ichigo shifted nervously in her seat, refusing to look at the other woman as she continued. "Sometimes, I also get these....flashes? I guess you could call them that. Just images and sounds and memories that I know aren't mine. My parents always told me it was just an active imagination but-"

"But you don't think so. It feels too real to you," Kukaku finished, a look of understanding on her face. 

"Yeah." 

"Well then," she began, taking a large inhale of her pipe, "I believe ya." 

Ichigo's head jerked up in surprise, eyes wide. "What really? You believe me?" 

Kukaku shrugged, taking another inhale of her pipe. "Sure, why not? Like I said, it's possible. And you don't seem like the type to lie about this stuff. Or the crazy type for that matter. If you think that's what's happening then I believe ya, kiddo." 

Ichigo honestly felt like crying, which was entirely out of character for her. But no one had ever told her that they believed her. Not even her own parents had believed her. Everyone always told her to stop being ridiculous and to stop letting her imagination run wild, but never took the time to try and understand what she was saying. She still wasn't sure that reincarnation was what was going on here, but at least having someone acknowledge that _something_ was going on was comforting. 

"Thank you, Kukaku,"Ichigo said softly. 

"Yeah, yeah, kid. Don't mention it," she responded gruffly, reaching over to tussle Ichigo's orange locks. "Now that we have that out of the way, I wanna hear about all the Shinigami ass you kicked!" 

**[ I ]**

_"Kiko, wait! Don't go so fast!"_

_She laughed and picked up speed. "Learn to keep up, Rukia! You need to work on your endurance. It might come in handy one day."_

_There was a growl of frustration behind her and the sound of running footsteps, but still not fast enough to catch her._

_"KIKO!" Rukia's annoyed voice came again._

_Her surroundings changed and she found herself in a run-down home. A small child with pink hair was running in circles around an impossibly large man. Two other men sat in the corner opposite her and the large man._

_"Yume-chaaaaan! Play with me!"_

Ichigo bolted up in bed with a gasp. The laughter of the the little girl still rang in her hears. 

Dammit, another dream. All she wanted was one full night of rest without any dreams, but they have only seemed to be increasing in frequency. She buried her face in her hands, taking a deep calming breath. 

Fuck Kiko. Fuck Yumeko. Fuck Suzuki. She didn't care that they shared a face or maybe even an existence. She didn't care. She didn't want to be compared to them, she didn't want to have flashes of their lives or memories or whatever the hell was happening in her brain. _She didn't want it._ It was impossible. It was illogical. And she just wanted it to stop. 

She fell back onto the futon with a frustrated groan. 

All she wanted was for it to stop. 

**Let me know what you think!**


End file.
